Tuesday, November 26, 2013

A good attitude makes everything better...

it is simply amazing how a change in attitude can bring a change over everything.  a day could start out miserably poor, but once a person takes stock in all of the good things in their life, they find a reason to smile.  that causes a chain reaction, which turns their frown upside down and saves the day.  
it's also an example of not allowing people, places or things to control how we feel.  we are in charge of how we feel, ultimately.  I have found this to be 100% true in my experience.  
next time things go haywire and you feel a little crazy, try taking stock in even the simplest of things in life that are problems.  plus, you don't own all the problems in the world, stop acting like it.  life is beautiful, so go out and live it like the rock star you are!

should be like...

being grateful should be just like breathing; done naturally and without having to think about it.
showing kindness should be like riding a bicycle; a person never forgets how to do it... we always remember how.
loving somebody should be like sitting in our favorite chair; usually feels so wonderful and may require a few minor adjustments once in a while.
life should not be so much of an easy ride, because if that were the case; we would never learn the skills necessary to deal with all the bumps we will encounter.
friendship should be like a summer's day; wonderful and fun and not always the most comfortable feeling, but yet the sun always shines.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Sometimes, it's hard to express what's inside my head...

To start, we know I have already gone on record as not being a huge fan of holidays.  Well people, it's time to drill down on what's been really eating at me for all these years when it does come to that.  Let's start with my children.  Now, I don't care if this sound callous or more like an asshole; but since I have no relationship with them at this point - thanks to their brilliant mothers - it eats me alive.  Only, that is, if I let it.  I know I am powerless over the games people play,  but by using their children as bargaining chips (seriously?!) or better yet & my favorite:  lying to them and convincing them that their father doesn't want to see them; how completely insane is that?!  I am not one to throw mud, but I am one who tells the truth and that is it, my friends.  Forget about my dysfunctional family, everybody has that in some form or another, even if they choose not to notice, which is perfectly cool.  I have made some very hard decisions in my life and if those were not made, I would be literally insane at this point.  Do not get me wrong, being a Father was really such a great joy for the years it lasted and it's original form.  Divorce can wreak havoc on people, families (obviously) and we all deal with it differently.  I know that, in my heart of hearts, that I did whatever I could to be with my children, love them and not that I failed, but things did not work out.  That requires another route and that's what I had to do.  Judge me and you best be looking in a mirror with your white gloves on; in other words: don't even try... nobody knows what it is like being in another person's shoes, unless they are that very person.  I always loved Plato's quote: "be kind, everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"; for the very reason not to judge.  Empathy, now that's a refreshing way to look at things and kindness, especially.  At any rate, I am becoming a fan of holidays, because the things which once dragged me will no longer do that.  I pulled the plug on their flickering light.  It's a process and I am living it.  Hey, progress, not perfection here.  It also makes me a lot more aware of the world around me and the people that truly care about me.  They are priceless and can not be replaced, ever.
So, as the lazy blogger I am this year, I thought this was important to share.  I am actually looking forward to  Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas, too.  That's right, you heard it here first, right from the Kugey's mouth.  I hope all of you who actually take time to read this, get nothing but the best possible quality time with your families and all your loved ones.  You're all awesome to me, no matter what...

Friday, September 13, 2013


After Sandy, we knew things would not be the same as before the storm. The shore towns did their best to rebuild what was rebuild-able and carried on. 
The summer was not so amazing in general far as weather and there was definitely something missing when one went to Seaside and to the boardwalk. Still, the "new normal" was getting us all on with a decent existence. Even though the new boardwalk material was dark and looked like synthetic wood, it was better than no boardwalk. 
We all did our best to embrace it. 
Yesterday, it all ended in flames. As I learned of the boardwalk fire, it was early afternoon and I was at my desk. I quickly told Maryellen and she saw the horror for herself.  Words can not describe the feelings of sadness; after all we have fought through. Less than a year after Sandy, 80% of the boardwalk is charred remains. Homes were not lost, businesses were. Luckily, no deaths. Thankfully, some brave first responders had only minor injuries. Even as Governor Christie proclaimed "we will dust ourselves off and carry on"; it's not so easy for people who have not fully recovered from a catastrophe. The people of the real Jersey Shore are quite a resilient bunch, but still. I pray for the best possible scenario and for the possibility of another recovery.  I'm thankful the teams of firefighters from all surrounding towns jumped in to help Seaside and get the blaze out. What an ordeal for the boardwalk, which held countless memories for so many. 

send the negtive feelings packing...

sometimes, I wrestle with my feelings that aren't always positive. in fact, they can be downright horrible. still, it is my focus to separate fact from fiction and know which feelings are real and which are simply false. fear, ego, jealousy - they are all bullshit and will not allow them to be real. of course, those are valid feelings, but have no place in my mind. I kick them out. they belong in the trash bin to be deleted. 
I need to take deep breaths and take stock in all the good things in my life. that's the best way to really send negative thoughts packing.  another great action is to be of service, help a friend and expect nothing in return. that's how I do it and the mood changes back to gratitude again. once I purge all the junk out. it's as if the sky clears and our comes the sun. it might not be easy, but it's worth it. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Sit and Listen To the World...

Days like this, as I sit and listen to the world, I can hear and feel the changes. 
it seems to be each time year, at this time, where I feel it.  Maybe it's the earth's rotation or just the slow change of season.  But, no matter how or why, it just is. 
I just sit back, look around and listen to the the world around me.  Sometimes, I feel a difference in the air and other times I notice things that are inherent to the new month.  Soon, the leaves will undoubtedly be crunching below our feet. Today, the sun is shining brightly and it's a beautiful day.  One thing I never forget to do, is to appreciate the beauty all around me and the little things in life.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Once Again; An Act of Violence Occurs...

Today was not supposed to be a day of mourning.  It was a celebration of Boston's history, heritage and unquenchable spirit; Patriots Day.  In addition, it was the running of the Boston Marathon.  This should have been the most magnificent day for the city of Boston.  But that was not the case unfortunately. 
In a most despicable plot; some person or part of group of people planted synchronized bombs in garbage cans lining the blocks parallel to the finish line.  Then, in a moment: the first one was detonated, causing windows to shatter, innocent people to die and so many injured.  Some of these injuries were near-fatal and others resulted in amputations.  I am not much for grizzly details at all, but more so the pain that these people have experienced today has sent shock waves all over the planet.  
Yes, the President has vowed to catch this person or people.  Indeed there is at least one possible suspect in custody; yet there are still casualties, so many injured and the collateral damage still mounting.  I, for one, am beyond devastated; not unlike any person reading this right now.  I am sending our prayers out to these innocent people.  People who were looking to enjoy a sunny day of tradition; the Marathon and celebrating their Boston pride.  Now, it is a city in lock down; in ashes, tears, blood and despair.  This is not right and how the hell can it be happening; in not only broad daylight, but in one of the major cities in America?! Yes, I have an angry tone.  It brings back awful memories of September 11, or the first attempt back in 1992-3 to blow it up and leading up to Hurricane Sandy, most recently.  True, we are strong people to a point, but nobody asked to have these things happen.  How will we respond this time?  It is going to be revealed in the days to follow.  For right now, all we can do is pray for these people and wait for more news to unfold.
Please keep the people of Boston in your thoughts and prayers.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

It's really okay to not be okay.  Not every single day will be our ideal; not a bad thing, but a fact of life.  Sometimes, I need to stop and realize that in fact, I'm not okay in that moment. It takes me a few days to identify and admit it; but then I set about accepting this and moving forward.
I was thinking about my children a lot this week and all of the drama I have been through with them.  Even though I have accepted things in my heart; does not mean it won't still hurt some days.  The feelings are justified because they are real; this is not some ego-based nonsense.  I digress: my heart is open and I have no secrets to reveal.  Missing my role in my children's lives was not choice I wanted to make.  That is, until my role was so diminished; I had to decide what would hurt me less and in the long run I know my decision was right.  Still, I have a scar that will always be there and that is what it is.  All I can do is live my life and be the best David I can be.  Loving my family is unconditional and I am grateful that the people I surround myself with love me the same way; as I love them.  As I have said; it's okay to not be okay sometimes.  Today is a new day and I am not missing out on it. I am getting a little better by sharing and with each word that I type.  Thanks for reading and listening. Happy to report that good things are always a constant in life!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Take a Break...

Today is the perfect day to take a break.  Relax, read a book, watch a movie; even do some laundry.  All without any kind of stress involved.  Giving you some much-needed peace; even taking a nap!  You deserve at least that; no hassles and no drama.  Being that today is also a Saturday, this seems more apropos; unless it is a workday, then another day perhaps.  I feel that constantly, we are going, going, going; yet we do not slow down long enough to catch up to ourselves.  Why not do just that - sit down, maybe jot some ideas & feelings that are trying to get out.  Just enjoy the present moment, take a deep breath and chill out.  It will totally slow you down and possibly put you at ease.  At least, that is my experience.  Hope that you will get a chance to do this and that it gives you the break you all deserve.  Happy Saturday.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Giving Is Much Better Than Receiving

For long as I've heard it, I have always identified with the saying "it is better to give, than receive".  In living this way, it has opened up the world in ways I never dreamed of; I am not even speaking in terms of material possessions at all here.  In fact, it is the way to "Live Simply".
I look at it like this: how nice it feels to give somebody a helping hand and see the smile on their face as they say "thank you"; or even the simple act of holding the door for people and they smile.  These unselfish gestures continue to give back; because whether or not we realize how paying it forward works or karma or call it what you will - the good vibrations keep reverberating in the best ways.  Plus, the warm feeling that I get from being kind and considerate make me smile all the time. This is one of the ways the goodness keeps coming back; long as you are selfless and kind to others, it always will.  I love that! 
Having nice things is all good and well; but in the end - it's just stuff.  

Monday, January 14, 2013

Losing a best friend...

In life, there will always be two things; love and loss.  Last Friday, I experienced a loss.  In fact, we all did.  Our furry beloved dog, Whiskey, passed away.  If was in the morning and he was thought to still be asleep.  We can only pray that his passing was painless for Whiskey.  He was such an amazing and sweet dog.  Happy, loving and loyal.  This hit all of us very hard.  I do not know what one can say about losing a pet; that any pet owner doesn't know.  
Still, I have moments where I look for him and then realize he is gone.  Little things that are just memories of our departed friend; they are fresh in my mind.  He will always be remembered with love and he was the best dog one could ever ask for.  I will miss him very much.  We all do already and the house much quieter; strangely so, without him there.  We love you Whiskey.  You'll always be my boy, my good boy.  Love you.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

You Deserve a Break...

As we rolled right into this awesome new year of 2013; it had occurred to me that rolling was literally the state of affairs. We had not even - and by that I mean at home - taken so much as one day to rest. This is after a very long stretch at the end of the year; starting with the hurricane, being homeless due to our home being destroyed, then after close to 2 months, finally moving into our own home again. Wait, there were also holidays thrown in there, too and lastly the passing of my Mom at the end of November. If I start to add all of that up, I get tired just thinking about it. We also got our new home fixed up with all the touches it needed to make it a true home. With all that, we have not stopped long enough to even enjoy it! After talking about this with Maryellen this morning; we decided not only do we deserve a break - but we needed one and are taking one. No to-do lists, worrying about things that can wait or running around. no; instead will be sloth-like and cocoon ourselves voluntarily in glorious comfort. Slowing down is not only a suggested activity, but it can also be rewarding. I am looking very much forward to it people!! Have an awesome day!!