Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Things Do Not Always Go According To Plan

The last 2 months have been a bit of a roller-coaster; to say the least.  Wonderful things have been happening, but also a lot of craziness; plus stress levels have been elevated.  It all seems to germinate from not being able to, or follow a plan.  Yes, plans are made to keep things running smoothly; however, there are a number of unexpected things that crop up.  
We sold the house that both my girlfriend and her daughter lived in for the last 17 years.  Then, we moved to a wonderful, new apartment on the water.  Moving in a very stressful ordeal, even for the calmest individual.  For me, it turns my whole world upside-down & I need to re-start again.  Having ADD; once a system is in place that works, I stick to it.  Now, there is a whole new system and I am still adapting to it.
I actually have struggled with following plans my entire life and it is not done deliberately.  It is always my best intentions that I start with.  If I allow even a simple change, it can throw everything else off for me.  I work on this each day and know that it is progress, not perfection.  I want following plans to be something I am able to do and continue to work on it.  
This does not only affect me, but my whole family.  I know how stressful not following the plan can be for the people involved.  
Still, there has been progress made and as I continue to work on things, it will be a little easier each time.  

Monday, July 2, 2012

Knowing It Is Not Your Fault

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in the last 10 years; has been how to know when something is not done by hands & not my fault at all.  Many people like to play the 'blame game".  My family was not different.  I had to unlearn many things from when I grew up; especially when it came to owning something I did wrong.  With that, is the realization that unless a person has actually done something wrong; transgression or not, against another person - they are not at fault in any way. Just to be very clear:  if another person tries to hurt or do anything damaging to another person, they are dead-wrong; so this is not a "get out of jail free" card or anything like that. Dealing with this has been a real eye-opener & it also allowed me to gain awareness in so many ways. It also allows us to share that with others; removing that false guilt from them & letting them know they are not at fault.  Sure, it is very hard to convey this to anybody; it was to me in the beginning.  Then, as a person slowly learns, by looking at their past & family of origin; it begins to become clearer.  Same thing for me; took a little while and then I was like "oh, wow".  
This also ties very closely to being gentle on one's self and knowing there is nothing wrong with stumbling in life. Just wanted to share this with you today.  Thanks!