Giving Is Always In Style

Ironic or not, this is the season of giving. Which also means the season of wanting. People tend to get in that "ooh I want it" mode right about now. Go ahead, admit it... you might have seen a pair of shoes or watch or even a car you have been secretly coveting. Regarding the season of giving though; it actually feels much better to give and not just now, always. Sound crazy? Well, it's not. Being selfless, rather than selfish, is one of the best things a person can do in their lifetime. It not only spreads kindness and love, but it also makes us better people. It makes people smile and feel appreciated. Just a positive thought to put in one's head, when most people (not all) are in the manic and frenzied holiday mode. Take a deep breath and feel your chest. Feel that heartbeat? Yup, you're a functioning human being. Go out there and be awesome.

Putting Our Best Thought Forward

New year, new aspirations, new goals, new dreams and yes, new year's resolutions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking big or planning for the most awesome year ever. That also means sooner or later there may be some disillusion and possibly even resentment. One thing I have been told and it sticks with me every single day - that is 'start as you mean to go on'. This means not over promising, selling something that can not be delivered or making a statement, which there is nothing to back it up or support it and trying to make it fly anyway. Things happen, plans change and life still goes on, no matter what. What I have learned, is to work hard, be positive, drive towards the goal and be able to bend with life in the process. It gives a person more ability to grow, see things from different angles and overcome adversity. Using the most helpful thoughts in our heads; the ones which will ultimately lead to actions and those actions will bring us closer to our goals. Of course, that is not to say that we will not have obstacle and hurdles, but we will learn how to tackle them and push through them, too. In life, there are no guarantees to speak of, other than death and taxes. Not trying to sound morose, but just realistic. The sooner we realize that we should spend less time thinking about what we didn't achieve or what goals we may not have reached and instead seeing how far we have come as ourselves, the better off we will be. The mind controls a lot of things, but we control the mind and in dong so, our thoughts. Think big and work your tail off. Good things will be in your future and never ever give up.

Let's Talk About 2016

Was this a year that good things happened or only bad? That's a rhetorical question, in my mind. Clearly it's not one or the other. More precisely, it's a culmination of both which creates the balance we live in. Life will never be fair and the world 🌎 owes us nothing. Each day, we have a chance to do good, be kind, change or take time to reflect. Nobody can take away our ideals or identity. It does not matter who is elected, because they don't pick our tribe. It does matter if we can all bind together and try our best to love one another. But hey, this is just my opinion and nobody can take that away either. In a year where we saw friends pass; along with some of the most brilliant names in music and movies leave us, there are so many bright moments that we fail to focus on. Be grateful for life's challenges, they make a person stronger and learn what to look out for in a situation which may arise down the road. Keep it simple, no point in overthinking things or staying up regretting the past. To move forward and be the best possible versions of ourselves is the one investment which will always pay dividends in the end. Here's to a year where we grew as people and to a new year brimming with opportunity.

Love Wins

There is a way to do things, with love. Without hate and with kindness as well. I have learned that in doing things that way, things not only work out better, but they do it in a way that makes everyone feel good. 

Keep it simple and do all things with love. 

Life Is Not A Battle

Life is not a battle, but we still need to fight. 

Fight for what we believe in. Fight against giving up. Fight to succeed and live the life we love. All of these fights lead to a greater good. 

Life doesn't have to be a battle, but you will have to keep your head up and be aware. 

Eyes In The Prize

Keeping one's eye on the prize certainly requires a lot of focus. Each and every day we remind ourselves why we are doing the things we are and what we ultimately hope to achieve. Hey people, nothing will happen overnight, in a year or even 5 years. It's all about where we are meant to be and what brought us to that place. Other than hard work, vision and determination, we guide ourselves on our path. What's right for one person may not be right for another. It's an individual journey for some and a couples' journey for others. It al depends on what people truly want and desire. There are no wrong answers. Keep on pushing forward and never look back, unless you want to see how far you've actually gone. Rock on!! 

Find Someone by Brigitte Nicole

Find someone who loves you well. Someone who never belittles you. Even in the heat of an argument. Someone who is gentle with you, but does not treat you like you are fragile. Someone who knows what you are capable of, and celebrates those pieces of you. Not someone who is intimidated by your strength. Someone who can call you out for being a brat, but doesn’t make you feel guilty for being flawed. It is not love’s job to punish you. And remember the person you love is just as broken as you are when they fall short. No one is perfect – do not hold them to this standard. Find someone who is patient, forgiving, and apologetic. Someone who practices forgiveness freely and often. Love someone who is humble, kind, and empathetic. Not only with you, but with a beggar on the street, or a stranger in the supermarket. Common courtesy is important. Compassion is important. Kindness is important. ~ Brigitte Nicole

remember

be kind

be honest

be understanding 

be real

be open

be mindful 

be genuine

just be... 

Best Day Ever

Today is the best day ever. I am marrying my best friend and the only person I would ever, truly want to spend the rest of my life with. She is everything to me; my soulmate and my love. We have been through a lot together and that only made us stronger as a whole. We have something amazing and wonderful. I have learned so much about what love, family and life is really all about and we keep growing each day as one. I am so grateful and happy that words will not even do it justice. I just wanted to put it out there with love. Today is the best day ever - I love you Maryellen, until the end of time and space... beyond any kind of infinity and measurement.

Be With Someone

Be with someone you can count on. Someone who doesn't make you wait. Someone who puts you ahead of everybody else and makes you a priority. Someone who loves you for who you are. Not just for your face, body or purely physical reasons. Yes, those are important, but only a detail when it comes to what really matters. Find someone who can be your rock. Someone who you can turn to in any situation and they will support you. Someone who you can call your best friend and mean it.  Be with someone who you can say, above all, that you love them completely. There is nothing better than that. 

Sometimes I'm Like a Child...

sometimes I'm like a child

and all the worlds a wonder

I like the color blue

and the sound of thunder 

sometimes life simple and

other times it's much harder

there isn't always a simple rhyme and reason 

for every emotion and every given season 

I can just sit and wonder while time keeps ticking

life is like a movie and it's definitely worth watching. 

love

love cares

love is patient

love is kindness

love is truth

love is living

love is you

love is real

love is here

love is everlasting

love is enduring

love is amazing

love is lifting

love is unstoppable

love is above all and beyond. 

Lucky

When we start out in life, we don't just go and immediately pick a person to spend the rest of our lives with. In fact, many of us pick and pick again. Its not about picking, but being, just be. There is something amazing about waking up next to a person who not only is your best friend, but your love, your life and your partner I crime. Lucky are the ones who know what I am talking about. 

Family

This is a subject I am still learning so much about. Family means so many different things to people. It could be the friends a person has chosen to surround themselves with or be by blood or even a combination of both. 

I had a skewed view regarding my family of origin. I feel like I never truly knew what a family was actually supposed tone or not, but I did not get the warm fuzzies from mine. Ever. You see, I learned how to call my relatives idiots for no apparent reason at all and instead of learning to forgive and stay in contact; I was shown the compete opposite. Now, it also about choices and I chose to believe what I learned for many years. I would be remiss to say that if I could go back and do things differently, I would. I have learned the true meaning of family: love. Unconditional and without any judgement at all. No filters and no bullshit. I cherish the people in my life who I consider famy. Period. Whether they are blood or not; I love you all with my heart. 

Instead

Instead of worrying about everything we can't control, just enjoy the moment you have right now. Instead of thinking about all of the things you so badly want, how about being grateful for what you already have. Yes, the simplest shift in thinking will open new doors, turn frowns to smiles and work wonders. Try it and see. 

Making Better Decisions

I want to learn a way of making better decisions. Learning from my mistakes is key, of course. 

Over the years, I have absolutely made some horrific decisions. Ones that will last me the rest of my life. Ones that have cut off my ties with my children and others that have been financially devastating. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating or beat myself up over past screw ups, but rather keep learning from them and pulling out the helpful tidbits and use them to avoid making the same bad decision next time. Sure, we all screw up from time to time, because we're human and I'm no better or worse than anybody else. 

I just want to learn a better way of making decisions, being smarter and more aware before I do anything and ultimately make the best decisions I can. 

Amongst the Waves...

Love ain't love until you feel it
Up riding high amongst the waves

I can feel like I
Have a soul that has been saved
I can see the light
Coming through the clouds in rays...

Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/pearl-jam/amongst-the-waves-lyrics/#Hb6I16bdiqIq7ocW.99

Winning

It's funny how many people seemed to be very win-oriented. It's not a bad thing. There is more to life than winning and losing. There are lessons to be learned from not only each defeat, but also learned when we win. So, it kind of makes every win a win-win scenario. Keep on learning, trying, pushing forward and no matter what, never give up. 

It's Perfectly Fine

It's perfectly fine to stumble and make mistakes. In fact, it's what makes us human. We can feel, see and hear when we do something wrong. Then, it helps us learn how to do things right. And, it doesn't happen overnight. Life is all about trusting the process. It works, you just have to let it. 

Mom

I rarely speak about my Mother, but being this is the 2nd Mother's Day since her passing, it felt like the right time. 

She was a person who held her cards very close to the vest. Loved to cook and we always had a freshly prepared dinner each night. Random, no, just telling her story. My mom grew up in the Bronx and was raised in a household where her father, aka pop pop, ruled with an iron fist. No. he was not my favorite either.  She was a very shy and reserved person who was typically quiet if she didn't know you. 

She worked as a secretary before meeting my father. They started dating before he was drafted in the Korean War. She promised to wait for him until he returned safely from his duty overseas. They eventually got married and started our family. 

I have an older brother, Stuart and older sister, Shari. We moved from The Bronx down to Marlboro in 1971. My father had just started his own CPA firm at that point. 

After being a stay at home mom for years, my mother joined my father and helped with his growing business. They were a good team and worked really hard together. 

In 1997 they sold the house in Marlboro and moved to Boynton Beach, Florida. 

I really grew up with a decent relationship with my mother, but she was also not always warm and fuzzy. Any of my friends can attest to this. It wasn't until a few months before her death, that I learned why. Her father was very abusive and she carried that burden her whole life. So very unfortunate, because it made her so timid and so reserved in many aspects. 

As her dementia got worse, my mom kept asking some of her usual questions and slowly would forget the answers. 

She was misunderstood because she wasn't able to communicate well with others or tell people why. She was very blunt though and had no problem telling people like it was. That always made me smile.

I miss my mom and love her no matter what. Mother's Day won't ever be the same without her.