Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Actions, Not Words...

Behavior is an interesting thing. It is like a living image of our sub-conscious mind without a filter. It is not always pretty. As any person, I tend to have made many mistakes in my life; but even more important than those mistakes: the behavior afterwards. Was I nasty, short or plain rude? Sometimes I was all 3 and worse. Short of allowing myself to become a complete asshole - yes - I have been using awareness to stop acting out and behaving like a spoiled 5 year old. You see, my behavior not only affects me; it affects all the people closest to me in my life. It's unfair to lash out at somebody because I am not properly handling my emotions or worse - letting the emotions handle me. That's a real no-no & goes against everything I have learned. Imagine how I feel after each time I still allowed it to happen. Yes, it was not good. Slowly now, I am doing my best to regain the reigns and keep both feet firmly on the ground again. Breathing, writing things down, blogging, talking & even taking a quiet sort-of time out, to regain my composure. All these things will help release the tension and give way to clearer thinking. Still, I am learning and each day I learn a little bit more about my own behavior; because I am the one who is responsible for it. So, it is my job to act accordingly and without acting like a spoiled child, or worse. That's where I'm at today.

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