What It Means To Be A Father…

6/16/10


“Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.” ~Author Unknown

Being a father is more than a title; in fact it is far more than a short description. From the moment one becomes a father, there is a certain feeling, instinct and identity that comes with being one.

I have to say that my earliest memories when my 1st daughter, Samantha, was born. When it was time for her to be born, I told Dr. James that “I’m going to cut the cord!” to which he replied “of course, David”. So then it was time to do that & I took it in stride. Then, it was my turn to hold Samantha & I remember crying at the beauty of this little baby in my hands. The smile on my face could have stretched an entire city block. It was quite a magical moment and nothing else mattered at that time.

When Brittany (my 2nd) was born, it was still very special, but she needed some medical attention after, so it was a little less of a happy moment. This was due to trauma in her airway and they needed to keep her for about a week in the hospital. This at first was a difficult thing, but I stood strong and dealt with it. Every night, I would come to the hospital after work. The time finally came for her to come home, but we would undoubtedly end up back in a hospital by the end of that year.
This is where being a father means being strong and sensitive at the same time. Pulling from strength to get through the rough patches, because life is not always a smooth operation and with children there are so many more things to consider. As if that was not enough drama, my 1st marriage was also not a happy one and I had been carrying that fact with me all the time.

“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” ~Author Unknown

Nothing is perfect, but we try to make the best of what we have – so I thought. It came to a point where I could no longer keep living this way. I had such a hard time thinking about how dissolving a marriage would affect the children. Finally, I came to decision that either way; it will not be an easy thing. The strained relationship with their mother did not help this fact at all, but that is not what my story is about.

“Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.” ~Author Unknown

After the dust settled, I was living back in the city again. Things changed and I got re-married. My 2nd wife had wanted a child. After my 1st marriage, I had a very strained relationship with my children, due to several issues – no other way to put it. It was fine with me, I love children and thought maybe having another beautiful baby would be good thing.

Well, the day my Chloe was born, it was truly exciting and that special feeling washed over me. I was all smiles and cut the cord (of course) after she was born. The feeling I had will never ever leave me, it is really not describable unless one has been there themselves. Holding her in my arms and looking down at her with so much love.
The bond that fathers form with their daughters is a lifetime one, I don’t know if this is the same with boys because I don’t have any.

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” ~Bill Cosby

There are so many experiences I have been through with my daughters and those are not replaceable. I try my best to be there for every concert, recital, event, etc… I do not want to miss a thing. Even though I have split my time up with the kids, I love them beyond the grasp of description and will always love them. Being a father has so many rewards, I could not even fathom comparing it to anything else.

"Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes." ~Gloria Naylor

David Kugelmas